Kitty's · corner

I've been pushing myself lately, harder than I should.  Sleepwise, I mean.  I get between 3 and 4 hours (interrupted) sleep each day, and it's finally starting to effect me.  Last night I was in the middle of a warm fuzzy conversation (which will be gone over in agonizing and descriptive length in another post), and my eyes started going.  It was getting hard to see because they were so dry and I was so tired.  So today I *will* get a nap... a nice two hour nap at least.  Something to give me that push.  I have to do this-- if I get sick then it's dangerous for the beastie, and I'll not let anything endanger him.

Have you ever stepped back and wondered what the hell you're doing?  I do that sometimes.. it's usually at the beginning of one of my funks, so I'm trying to be wary.  (speaking of wary, awry is wary all mixed up).  I don't want to be in a mood, I don't like having to put on a happy face.  I mean, I like *having* a happy face.... but I don't like the mask that's inevitable sometimes.

I'm feeling very lonely late, and I'm not sure what's bringing it on.  Is it that the wonderful feelings I've been having are a counterpoint to just how little contact I have?  Or that I'm afraid it's all going to crash into nothing?  I don't really know...

I think I'm too cynical... I start looking at things as more of a "what do they want from me?"  "What does this really mean?"  I know that I should take things at face value, but really, life has taught me that there's a lot more to it than that.  As Donkey has taught us... everything is like an onion.  Or maybe a parfait.